Monday, August 1, 2011

My (almost) Most Embarrassing Moment

A few weeks ago we met some other couple friends for dinner. They were new friends, so we wanted to make a good impression and not do anything stupid.  So of course, I (almost) did something stupid.

It was on a weekend, so TB and I were running around doing errands during the day before our dinner date.  In an effort to put my best foot forward, I took a rinser before we were supposed to meet our friends.  I'm normally a once a day showerer.  But I went out on a limb this time.  Although I took a rinser, I decided I'd throw on my same jeans and change shirts and shoes.  As I'm selecting my outfit, TB is yelling, "Hurry, hurrrrrrrrrrrry, huryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!".  Keep in mind, we're not late.  He just likes to stress me out.  For some reason, he enjoys this.  And it works every time.

I threw on clothes, slapped on some makeup, half buckled my shoes, hurried out the door and into the car.  The drive was only about 2 minutes away, so as I was still arranging things in my purse, we hopped out at the valet and into the bar to wait for our friends and my heart was still beating fast from all that action.  AND, we did have to wait at the bar.... because we WERE NOT late.  We were the first ones there.  By a long shot. TB just likes to play this little prank.

As I was settling into my first drink, our friends arrived.  At that very moment of saying hello and making small talk, I realized something was not right.  Something with my outfit.  I'm going through the typical hellos on the surface, but I'm just trying to figure out what was wrong, without a look of sheer panic on my face.

I slowly figured out what was wrong.  There was something wrong with my jeans.  Inside the left pant leg, just behind my knee, there was something lodged between my knee and my jeans.  I quickly did a run-through of my getting ready process and realized it must be my old underwear.  Yes.  I changed underwear during my rinser and when I hurriedly put the same jeans back on, the old pair must have been stuck in the jeans.  And I didn't notice they were there the whole time I was getting ready.  And they were still there.  And I'm in public.  With people that I didn't know very well. What was wrong with me!!!

As I'm coming to the conclusion that I have a dirty pair of underwear stuck in my pant legs, I can feel the underwear slowing start to slip down my pant legs.  I'm trying to hold a conversation with someone about a wedding or honeymoon, or something - I really couldn't concentrate on the conversation and could only nod and smile at the appropriate time, while trying to hold my leg in a position that would stop the underwear from sliding down my leg, to the floor of the bar and have everyone look down to see a pair of purple underwear laying on my foot.  Talk about never going to dinner with this couple again.

It finally reached the point of no return and I had to abruptly excuse myself to the restroom- while getting a weird look from TB for my odd behavior.  I looked around frantically for the restroom sign, only to see it on the other side of the restaurant.  Crap.  I began to dodge my way around tables, waiters and slippery floors all while keeping my left leg bent enough to keep the underwear trapped behind my knee.  But still needing my left leg to walk.  It made for an awkward and very nervous trek across the restaurant.

As I pushed open the door to the restroom, I immediately locked myself in a stall and grabbed the underwear.  I think any sane person would have just thrown away the underwear and cut their loses.  But those were good underwear, and I couldn't stand the thought of giving them up.  So.  I stuffed them in my purse.  And hoped I wouldn't need my purse.

The night ended on a normal note - without needing my purse - and we still have those friends.  Thanks to my quick thinking and a bit of good luck, the night ended up being my (almost) most embarrassing moment and not my most embarrassing moment.