Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Potty Talk

Public bathrooms. 

Those two words are simply cringe worthy.  Everyone hates the public bathroom, and for good reason.  They have to be the grossest place on earth.  But honestly they don't have to be that gross.  I can't imagine people's home bathrooms get that dirty (aside from the bathroom of a college aged boy....).  Certainly the public bathrooms get used a bit more frequently than a home bathroom, but it seems that people lose all sense of manners while using the public facilities.  My personal preference is to avoid the public bathroom at all costs.  I will "hold it" and as soon as I get home, make a mad dash to the closest bathroom in the house.  TB often got used to me sprinting to the hall bathroom when I'd arrive home from a work trip - his kiss hello would come after, I had an emergency to attend to.

Unfortunately, pregnancy didn't agree with my avoidance of public bathrooms and I spent A LOT of time in them.  A LOT.  If a public bathroom is the grossest place on earth, then having to vomit in a public toilet has to be one of the grosses things you could ever do.  It was a delicate balance of making sure I barfed in the toilet, but not getting any where near the toilet.  Awful.  Simply awful.

After much thought, I've determined that public bathrooms get so disgusting for several reasons.  All are avoidable if people would just remember some basic manners.  I've listed my top "issues" which I ran across in the public bathrooms.  Hopefully this will create some awareness - you can be luckier than me and avoid a bathroom where these unfortunate incidents have occurred.

1.  Improper Aim:  There were several times when I was sure, just sure that I had accidentally walked into the men's room.  Ladies, how in the world do you get pee all over the floor and seat?  Some people may still "hover", but most facilities have the paper seat liners and if they don't, you can just use some toilet paper.  No need to pee on the floor.  And if you accidentally pee on the seat - clean it up!!

2.  No Flushing:  Flushing the toilet should be as automatic as tying your shoes.  I just don't get it.

3. Put the Seat Down for Heaven's Sake!:  Ah, the unisex bathroom.  Airplane bathrooms are the worst, unisex bathrooms and the notorious improper male aim compounded by the turbulence on the plane leads to pee everywhere.   Boys are gross and I don't want to share a bathroom with thousands of strange boys much less boys with bad manners who never put the seat down even though you are well aware there is a girl in line for the bathroom right behind you.  End of story.

4.  Abide by your Gender: Imagine being 9 months pregnant, going out to dinner, having to pee 5 times during dinner and realizing the restaurant only has one ladies room.  Ridiculous in it's self.  But then on pee number 3, standing outside the door for 10 minutes because someone is already in the bathroom.  Then, when the door opens, a dude wearing a t-shirt one size too small comes walking out of the bathroom while still buckling his pants and giggling when he walks past you.  What a jerk. There was a perfectly available men's room.  I did not want to share a restroom with this man, please refer to point number 3 above.   I gave him dirty looks over my entire dessert.

I'll soon be traveling again and I look forward to not using the public bathrooms.  Although I have noticed that the baby changing stations in public bathrooms can be fraught with some similar problems......I anticipate a post regarding changing stations at some point in the future.

And I leave you with a few of our professional baby photos of JTB at 1 week: